Me n My words again

Why am I telling this? Whom? Many a times we do things without rational motives. Is that true? There has to be a reason for everything. Rotation of the Earth is a reason. Mother's care for the child has a reason. Does this mean that I am a reason too? Was I born for a reason? If that's so, than everyone’s birth has a reason. But why is it that many people came and died without leaving any topic for others to talk about? What was the reason for that person's birth? I don't know.

What's death anyway? What's transformation of soul? Do souls go to heaven or hell? Are there places like that? Is there life after death? Someone told me long back, "if you want the answers to these questions, there is only one way to find it. You have to die!" That's true basically. Are these the questions, which were the reasons for many wars? Probably. Many leave their homes, wives, children, parents, and loved ones to find the answers to these questions. Could anyone ever found any resolution? Does it sound logical? It may to many.

Again, people do lots of things for power. I want power. I want to be number one. What is power? This is something everybody yearned for but didn't even get close to it. What a pity! Yes, many got strengthened. But power; define it please! Is it a possession of controlling influence? Dictionaries say so. Okay, even if I agree to it, what's the use? Can anybody control his future? If he could, I know one thing for sure, the first thing he would have done is to block his death. Have I seen anyone doing it? Huh! What's the use of it than? One has to leave everything once the time comes. What's the use of wars and battles?.... 'Oh, you'll not understand. You are not matured enough.' THAN MAKE ME UNDERSTAND YOU........!!!

Magic! A real one. Sure it is. I don't know what's coming next, but, I am happy with myself. Hope is there know? Why; does hope bring benevolence every time? Than? Still I.......like a pig. Am I lacking of benignity? What about others? When was the last time somebody being kind to a stray, paralytic dog? Virtuoso....human being! Virtuoso....me! Ha ha! How to consummate? I don't have the answers, thank you. I am a novice. A tyro; for sure. Otherwise I would've had the answers. How can I be enlightened? Dr. Mikao Usui was. So did many. I guess I am lacking of three important things. Faith, confidence and hope. Well..... Really HOPELESS!!

Again, what's the reason behind my birth? I feel like a duped. Am I one? I feel as if I am harassed with persistent criticism. Why is that? No answers! Great!.... Many people came into this world, as I had mentioned before, and shared whatever they had known with the world. They gained more knowledge with that. What am I doing? I don't want to live a life of stray cats or dogs. Actually their lives are quite better. They even have the freedom to die. Why don't I have the freedom of choice?..... What's there to choose anyway? It's all same all the time. Nonetheless, I need freedom to choose whatever is there. But I don't understand one thing; if we are left with the same old things, how can we have a 'new day'? For a new day, we need new things, new affairs, matters and lots more. Who is playing with us? Am I a software program of a video game? Who is the BIOS here? Who is the programmer? Millions of people go in search of themselves to mountains and places far from the reach of normal human. Why? To find the answers to these questions, right? Do they get the answers? I don't think so. Or am I wet behind the ears? Do they really get the answers? Are they satisfied with themselves? What is satisfaction? Is it really the act of fulfilling a desire or the contentment one feels when one has done something right? What is right? What is desire? The same questions!! C'mon now, I genuinely need a break.

There has to be a turning point. How to reach that? I need an unplayful commencement. Waiting for that............ Ne plus ultra!!!